


Doubt

by SalemDae_45



Series: The Secret Trilogy [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/M, Het and Slash, M/M, Mild Language, Season/Series 08, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-19
Updated: 2011-08-19
Packaged: 2017-10-22 20:27:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/242252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalemDae_45/pseuds/SalemDae_45
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you are face with decisions and fears that can destroy or redeem you.  For Elliot Stabler, facing reality is also facing one’s fears and doubt, especially if it revolves around his own happiness.<br/>Original Posted: 4/2010(?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story about two years ago. Didn't have the balls to post it until last year. Then it got deleted from my old lj account. Somehow I found it. It’s one of those old stories that you forgot you had in your junk drive. It’s not the best story, but it’s not the worst. So, I decided to give this story one last try.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Law and Order SVU. This is purely fictional and the only thing I do own is this story and the character Shawn Davis. I’m not making any profit whatsoever.  


 

  
**~*Doubt*~**   


 

Laughter fills Elliot Stabler's ears as he nurses the near-empty glass of beer. The bar tables were made of marble while the stools were comfortable to the touch. The walls were dark red while the floor was hard and matches the perfect bar tables. The place was chic and classy as music of a local band plays and laugher of old and young people echoes the room. Elliot never had been to a bar as eloquent before. He didn’t make enough money to buy a forty dollar beer or appreciated an up and coming good band but that is the price of dating someone half his age. The reason Elliot went to the bar was to try something new and be with Shawn, his angel and devil.

And as he turns and sees his…boyfriend flirting with another man, Shawn, at the moment, becomes his devil.

Shawn leans closer to the man’s side, talking lowly so anyone will not hear them. The other man smiles devilishly as Shawn let his head back with laughter. Elliot, on the other hand, held his beer tightly, eyebrows presses down on his light blue eyes and lips presses firmly shut. Elliot could have sworn he was seeing stream coming from his ears.

Elliot tries to focus his attention on the music. He couldn’t remember the band’s name but it was the type of music Shawn plays in their apartment. While Elliot is into the classic, old hard rock, Shawn is into the alternative music that chic bars play at the background. Elliot hates the music and thought the band needed to do something less wild. Soon he lost interests in the music and his attention went back to Shawn who begins to move closer to the man and touched his skinny tie.

Jealousy rose in Elliot’s blood as he found himself getting up and walking towards Shawn’s table. Elliot stood in front of the two young man with his arms folded across his chest. His eyes narrows at Shawn hands lifting the man’s chin and brought his face closer to his lips. Elliot clears his throat and finally got Shawn and the man attention.

Shawn snickered while the man who has a neat-cut black mustache and short hair appears confused.

“Shawn, I think it’s time to go,” Elliot says, eyes held a threatening and massacre spark.

Shawn smirks.

“I’m not ready to leave, Detective Elliot Stabler. I’m just getting started.”

“What? Oh shit. You mean that’s THE Detective Elliot Stabler! Oh God…” cries the man moving away from Shawn and about to leave the table.

“As long as I’m in this room, you’re not doing anything. Let’s go,” Elliot says a little forcefully.

Shawn stretches his arms wide on the red cushioned booth.

“What are you going to do about it, baby? Unless you want the world to know you are fucking a young man, you can’t do shit about it.”

“Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Detective Stabler just arrested my uncle last week. Oh God, what am I going to do…” panics the man, hands covering his face.

Elliot smiles as he grabs Shawn by the arm and jerks him from the seat. It caught the attention of several people in the bar, including Shawn’s “date.” Elliot pulls him to his side and drags him outside the bar.

Shawn got out of Elliot’s grip and pushes him away.

“What the fuck is your problem? Can I enjoy myself every now and then?”

Elliot glares at Shawn.

“If enjoying yourself means flirting and fucking with someone else behind my back, than no you can’t.”

Shawn laughs.

“So that’s upsetting you! Now you all of sudden care about what I do. I wished you show so much care for me in public!”

Elliot freezes.

“I had to flirt with someone else to get you to realize that I mean something to you. To realize that I’m not so kid who wants a sugar daddy. All I want is you and to show some affection to me in public. Maybe a hand squeeze or something,” Shawn stares meaningfully into Elliot’s eyes.

Elliot knew the conversation that started a few weeks ago would appear again. He does love Shawn, but something always kept him for showing it to him. Maybe he was not ready to show much details of their relationship, especially to his co-workers, Olivia, or even his soon to be ex-wife. Even the mention of her brought his heart to tears as he remembers his former, simple life with her and the children.

“The only time you acknowledge our relationship is when you fucking my brains out!”

“You know damn well I can’t tell anyone about you or us. What do you think my co-workers would think? They think I’m a cradle-robber or…hypocrite,” Elliot says.

“Elliot, I’m only twenty-four and you’re forty-two! What the hell is wrong with that? I mean, I’m not a child and you’re not my father,” Shawn snaps.

“Then there is my wi…ex-wife who would really get me to cough up more money. If she finds out about you, I won’t even get to see my children.”

Shawn shakes his head.

“That’s bullshit, Elliot and you know it. Kathy will still make you pay money to support her shopping springs instead of your kids’ education.”

Elliot comes closer to Shawn’s face. His hands ball into a fist.

“Don’t you fucking talk about my wife like that. She is a good mother.”

“Really? When was the last time she ever spend time with her children. In that matter, when was the last time she ever let you see you kids? Don’t answer all at once,” Shawn stares into his eyes, not backing down.

Elliot breaths though his noise, face turns red as an apple. Elliot never has been so angry with Shawn. Kathy is a good mother and wife. It is Elliot who was the bad husband, father, and lover. He would give anything to be a better husband and father in order to have a simple, safe life with Kathy and the children. Instead of a complex, one-sided relationship with a much younger man.

Elliot closes his eyes and backs down. He turns away from Shawn and looks at the sign of the bar. He felt a hand on his shoulder. He sighs deeply, liking the warmth gesture. Although he crave the once prefect life with Kathy, some of him want the rough relationship with Shawn. Somehow, Shawn is the one that made him feel safe and comfortable during a rough tide, not Kathy. Yet, how long will the peace between them last before something terrible happen between them.

Shawn moves closer to Stabler. He presses his head on Elliot’s shoulder. He knew Elliot will pull away when someone sees them, but he wants this little moment of comfort and intimacy.

“Maybe, but it doesn’t change the fact of how I feel about her or how I feel about us. I love you, Elliot. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you. I don’t know how many times I can take you avoiding me. I wish you can see that I’m as important as Olivia, your kids, and Kathy,” Shawn whispers.

Soon Elliot faces him, places a hand on his shoulder which moves slowly to the side of Shawn’s neck. He knew people could see them, but it was dark outside and there were not that much lights on the street, if a person includes the bar’s sign. His thumb caresses the side of Shawn’s cheek.

“You say it enough, Shawn, but it’s not easy for me to…embrace it,” he confessed.

Shawn smiles.

“You haven’t given it a try, El. Just let me kiss you and that’s all the embracing you need,” Shawn moves his face closer to Elliot’s lips.

Elliot almost allows the embracement of their relationship until he saw Olivia Benson and Casey Novak towards them. Elliot, who still is not ready for anyone, including Olivia, to know about his five month hellish and passionate relationship with him, pushes Shawn away.

Shawn looks at an emotionless Elliot. He can feel his heart break as he turns around and saw Olivia and Casey coming their way. Shawn looks back at Elliot and frown.

“I guess you want them to think you still mourning for you ex-wife,” he hisses.

Elliot eyes remain empty, emotionless.

Maybe, he thought, feeling ashamed for avoiding Shawn and longing for his wife.

Casey’s head was held back as laugher escape her lips. Olivia eyes lands on Elliot and his younger companion and a smile appear on her make-up face.

“Elliot, I thought I never see you at this place,” Olivia says happily.

Elliot blushes.

“And who is that cutie!” Casey stares at Shawn.

Shawn looks back at Elliot and a smirk appear on his pale face. He forwards his hand to Casey and Olivia.

“My name is Shawn Davis….”

“Shawn,” Elliot says, fear that his little secret would be reveal to his co-workers. Sometimes Elliot rather have Kathy than Shawn at times like that. Shawn would do anything to get what he wanted, even when it means at someone’s loss.

“…and I’m Elliot Stabler’s boyfriend.”

Elliot mortify face turned angry as Olivia stares unbearably at the young man. Casey was not phrased by the man’s words. Elliot balls his fist.

“Elliot…” Olivia starts.

All Elliot could do is hit Shawn in the mouth as angry consumes him. He never felt humiliated in his life. Not only do Olivia and Casey know his secret, soon the office would know. Elliot was not ready for people’s reaction. He hates Shawn at the moment. He hates his stupid, mouth and attitude. He hated falling in love the boy. And he also hates himself for being closeted about his feelings.

Shawn touches his mouth and saw blood coming from his lips. He then looks at the curious eyes of passing people. Shawn didn’t make a bigger scene when he moves closer to Elliot. He whispers in his ear.

“Fuck you, Elliot. Now I know how you feel about me!”

“Shawn…” Elliot says, trying to find some reason behind his behavioral. He hasn’t calmed down but he had to stop the mess before it became bigger.

“We’re over! I’m not your plaything any longer,” Shawn left Elliot and faces the two women, “Nice to meet you Olivia and Casey,” Shawn smiled and walked up the street.

Elliot watches Shawn walking away as he stood in front of the bar. He undid his hand as something inside of him wants to chase after him. Elliot almost moves felt his feet stepping away from the two women and running behind Shawn. He can even picture himself putting his arms around him and pulling him close, telling him he was sorry for what he done. Yet, Elliot remains at the bar while watching Shawn becoming a dust moving farther away from them. Elliot lowers his head even when he heard the gentle footsteps of his partner moving closer to him.

Olivia touched his shoulder, trying to gain his attention. Elliot looks at his partner, eyes sullen.

“Elliot, you should…”

“It’s getting late. I’ll talk to you later,” Elliot moves away from Olivia’s touch and walks in another direction.

He ignores Olivia’s voice as he walks passed many bars, high end stores, and expensive apartments. Elliot felt angry, humiliated, confused, and lonely. He hasn’t felt that way since Kathy packed her things and the children’s and left the house when Elliot was away. He had to beg, plead, and offered counseling but Kathy turned him away and made him the bad guy in front of his children. All the while Elliot wanting Kathy to love him again, like she used to during their marriage. It still kills him inside when he signed the divorce papers and puts in her mailbox and seeing her face. He thought he might not live after that defeat.

However, a young man with loose wavy black hair, dark brown eyes, and a tempting mouth had that changed his life. Elliot never thought his heart would soar for him. He never consider himself gay or into one night stands, but somehow he accepted Shawn in his heart and apartment. He liked the times they spend together and the way his body moved against his body. He liked their conversation and wonderful words and loved Shawn contagious smile. Shawn was everything he needed during the divorce process and if it was not for Shawn, he would be another drunken cop. The problem was Elliot admitting his feelings to Shawn or anyone at the matter. He loved Shawn but afraid for anyone to know. He didn’t want to be known as the creepy old guy who has sex with young men. Then again, he didn’t want to fall in love with him in the first place. Shawn should have been a bed warmer and he knows that Shawn would leave him for another younger man. Elliot was excepting that day and it never came.

Elliot stops walking and saw looks up the two story house that he once shared with Kathy. It still looks the same: gray walls, white blinds, a nice arrange of flowers surrounding the porch. Everything about his old life was the same, except he wasn’t in it. Elliot never reveals it to Shawn but sometimes he craves for his old life. He wants Kathy and the kids back and start anew. He would be a good husband and father this time.

Elliot realizes he should go back to the apartment and stop Shawn. At the moment he should beg or talk Shawn out of leaving him. Yet, his muscles on his built body did not allow him to move. Some parts of him want to let him go. Elliot wanted Shawn to experience his life instead of dealing with an old divorced cop. Maybe then it would not hurt as much when he goes back to his wife. He did miss Kathy and longs for the simple, less turmoil life he once had with her. He would not have to worry about pleasing a younger man and Shawn would be free to date other men, his age. Besides, Elliot had enough of not seeing his children and Kathy’s hostile ways when it came to the children.

Elliot walks towards his old house. He knocks on the door, sweat dripping from his palms until Kathy opens the door and a distress expression fills her face.

Elliot saw that she was wearing the old bathroom that he used to wear and underneath it was the button up shirt that was too small for him.

“Elliot, what is wrong? Did something happen to you?”

Elliot looks deep into her eyes, knowing he is betraying Shawn. He heard his heart breaking but he ignores it.

“Kathy, can I spend the night?”

“Elliot, you can’t…”

“Please. I promise that I will leave before the kids wake up. Let me stay for one night,” Elliot pleads her.

Kathy shakes her head as she moves away from the door and let her soon to be ex-husband in the house. Elliot thanks her as she closed the door.

  
***~*~***   


“Don’t you think it’s too soon?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” Olivia says as they sat in a local diner, waiting for their food.

Elliot grins.

“Kathy hasn’t told me when I can move in, but I know it’s soon. At this time, we’re just having drinks. She seems to be in better mood now and days.”

“I wasn’t talking about Kathy, El. I’m talking about the man that claimed to be your boyfriend. Do you think it’s too soon…?”

Elliot interrupts her.

“She’s letting me see my kids. You don’t know how long it’s been since I saw them.”

Olivia rolled her eyes.

“It’s great that you’re seeing you kids, but Elliot, I’m serious. Did you and him broke up?”

“Drop it,” Elliot eyes piecing into Olivia’s brown eyes.

“Why? Since Kathy filed for divorce, you have been…different. Then five months ago, you started to lighten up. Either you finally saw a psychiatrist or that guy put a smile on your face. ” Olivia explains.

Elliot looks at Olivia, hoping his emotions do not betray him.

“So, who is he?”

Elliot fondled his hands, not sure if he wants to tell Olivia the truth. The truth is that he misses Shawn. He misses Shawn’s voice and warmth body next to him at night. He longs to have Shawn next to him or even talk to him. When he came back to their…his apartment the next night, Shawn was gone. All of Shawn things were out the drawers, closet, and bathroom. There was no note or even a phone call. It was as if Shawn never existed which clouded Elliot’s little world. Although Kathy and he were finally talking, the spark and passion that was once there is gone. The only love he has for Kathy was for the children. Yet, why was he still seeing her?

Elliot knew the reasons; it is too painful to admit it.

“Well…”

Elliot raises his head to Olivia’s eye level.

“Shawn wasn’t lying when he said he was my boyfriend.”

At first Olivia stares at him. The shock that the heterosexual, tensed, and aggressive cop she worked with for eight years would ever be in a relationship with another man, let alone a younger one. Slowly, the shock ceases and Olivia finally looks at the whole picture. It explains many things such as Elliot’s huge smile to work; his loosen demeanor, and calm gestures. And to add something else, Elliot was happy. Olivia didn’t care who Elliot slept with, it was his business, as long as he was alright and not hurt.

When she looks at the dark circled, grim Elliot, she knew he have changed for the worse. Olivia hates to admit it, but she rather sees Elliot with Shawn than Kathy. Kathy would probably give him hell when she stops the divorce process.

“How long have you been seeing him?” She asks.

Elliot slowly smiles.

“Five months, but…” he pauses, thinking of the last time he saw Shawn. It brings a frown to his thin lips.

“But…”

“I didn’t want anyone to know about…us. Shawn and I had our ups and downs but somehow we work it out. I guess, this time, Shawn couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted more from and I couldn’t give it to him. I wanted…”

“El, being with Kathy is not going to solve it. You are not only hurting her, but you as well. Damnit, why are you with Kathy when it obvious you still in love with him?” Olivia asks, lips turn to an upside down smile and eyebrows presses on her eye socket.

Elliot clasps his hands together and brought his head to them. His eyes are closed.

“Kathy was simple. My life with her was safe and simple. I’m used to having a relationship with a woman, not a young man. I thought by being with her, I could see my kids and maybe, just maybe, Kathy and I would go back to the early days; when we were still in love with each other. But, it doesn’t work like that. I’m in…love with him, with Shawn,” Elliot sees Olivia, “Just say it, I’m the biggest jackass on earth. I can’t even decide if I want to be with him or my own damn wife,” he says.

Olivia folds her arms.

“Well, I can’t tell you how to run your life, Elliot. All I can say is don’t be with someone you hardly love,” as soon as she closes her mouth, the waitress gave them their food.

While Olivia ate her chicken sandwich, Elliot picks at his food. It was too late to get Shawn back. He had all the chances in the world to call him and beg him back, but he didn’t. He rather have his once picture clear former life. He didn’t care about Shawn. Olivia was right, but it came with a price.

  
***~*~***   


Later that night, when he took a break from dealing with Malcolm, he went to see his family. The family not long to go he was estrange from. He stands near the door and saw beautiful children. They were so peace while they were asleep which made Elliot long for one more peacefully moment. Elizabeth and Richard, his twins, and heart, they still loved him despite his downfalls. Kathleen also loved him too but in her own way that Elliot appreciates. He misses them so much and for one moment, his life is normal. He shuts the door and went to Kathy and…Kathy’s room.

Kathy smiles at him as she told him to close the door. She leans against the back board while her hands unlace the strings of her grown. The cloth fell off her shoulders, revealing her cleavage. Elliot’s eyes travels from the long length blonde hair to her slender, soft shoulders. He licks his lips, knowing the day finally came. The day he once dreamed about, before he meant Shawn. He quickly took off his leather jacket and drops it to the floor, along with his shirt and pants. He stood before his…wife in all his glory, ready to consummate something beautiful…

And damned.

Elliot hasn’t slept with Kathy or any woman since their separation. The only person he had slept with was a twenty-four year old man. It was strange to touch someone with the same body parts as he but he got use to it. He got used to the rougher breaths and lighter taps. He even started to love it until he start to think about his masculinity and guilt for loving something that came naturally. Sex with Shawn was natural. Sex with Kathy might not be so.

He walks towards her and stood near the bed. Kathy gently touches his arm, circling around his muscles and lightly traces her index finger on the black god. Elliot lowers his head and pulls her lips to his. She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling Elliot on top of her. He moves between her legs, kissing her lips to her neck. His hands moves to the hem of her grown and pull it off of her.

Kathy’s body is slender. Her breasts are perky and nipples hard. Her body glistens in the dark as Elliot eyes trails down to her blond public hair. He nuzzles between her breast, kissing and sucking the center. Her moans echoes in his ears.

As Elliot teases her, he felt not complete. He knew it was too late to get Shawn back but that was all he wanted. He wanted Shawn in this bed, not Kathy. Yet, he couldn’t be distracted by pesky thoughts of the past. He has to focus on his future.

He kisses down from her breast to her navel before sticking his tongue in her womanhood. It felt wet, and juicy to his tongue. The curly hair tickled his lips, blocking his way from nibbling her cunt. He presses his hands on her knees, filling his mouth with her clit.

“God, Elliot,” Kathy whimpers.

It echoes in his ear as he tastes a few more times before moving away from her dripping cunt and nibbles on her flat stomach. His hands roam her sweaty body as unintelligent words came out of her mouth. Elliot sucks on her neck when he finally enters her wet vagina. The slick of his cock moves slowly into her entrances. He felt himself moving deeper inside her and some part of him loved it. He loved the sound of his name, the sound of his cock and balls crashing against her entrances. He loved fucking her, but not making love to her.

Elliot buried his face between the crocks of her neck, smelling her. It smelled like strawberries not Armani. Everything Elliot was doing wasn’t right.

Elliot thoughts went to Shawn, the visions of him laughing, smiling, breathing roughly of Elliot’s tongue licking his cock. He actually likes the vision and knew what he was doing is wrong. He misses Shawn. He wants Shawn back.

“Elliot…I love you. I was a fool to …. Let….you go! Oh…” Kathy cried, nails stitching his shoulders, her head swings back.

Elliot looks into her eyes and couldn’t believe she said that. Kathy loved him but he didn’t love her back. All he wanted was safety and normality which Shawn could not give him. He wanted the ideal, perfect life he once had. He thought the love he once hold for Kathy would come back through talk, touch, and sex. All it brought him is memories of Shawn.

The guilt finally sinks in Elliot’s mind as he thrusts inside Kathy one last time before collapsing on top of her. He felt her breast presses firmly on his chest. He rolls off of her as she lay her head on his chest and kisses it.

Elliot looks to the ceiling, knowing what he had done. All he could feel is guilt. He shouldn’t have longed for normality with Kathy. He was better off with Shawn who really made him happy. Of course Kathy made him happy but he knew it would not last. Before he could move in, things will go back to the same mess. They will argue until they turn blue. Elliot didn’t want that. He didn’t want that for his children. He didn’t care if he had to beg to see his children, as long as he was happy with Shawn and had him near his body, it was worth it.

“I’m glad you came Elliot. Like old times, huh,” Kathy whispers.

“Yeah,” was all Elliot could say as he lay on the bed, still looking at the ceiling.

When Kathy is asleep, Elliot got out of the bed and put on his clothes. He walks down the stairs and before leaving, he went to the kitchen. He opens the refrigerator door, grabs a carton of milk and drinks it. It felt like he belongs in the house, to the old memories, but he didn’t. He could not get use to it any longer.

He puts the carton in the refrigerator and saw Kathleen, staring at him. The guilt continues to build on his shoulders.

“We're your family, not a booty call. Either come home, or don't, there's no in between,” Kathleen says which effects Elliot like a knife.

His family was not a booty call. They deserves better. Shawn deserves better. He knew what he had to do.

  
***~*~***   


The case is over and Elliot could breathe. Yet, he felt like draining in his own river of tears. Throughout the integration, he wanted to kill this man. He wanted to smash his skull against the glass and see the blood run from his body. This man had a long time to think of what he did. However, Elliot had a short time to think of how he would break Kathy’s heart and see his own blood running from his body. Then he had to find Shawn and tell him how sorry he felt. He tells him that he loved him and tried to be the better lover in their relationship. It would be hard work but he was ready to take the challenge. Elliot is ready to embrace their relationship that Shawn craved very much.

Elliot puts the key in the doorknob and opens it. He nearly drops to the floor when he saw Shawn holding a picture. Elliot thought Shawn left New York City or disappeared from the face of earth. It was a pleasure and pain to see him standing in their…his apartment. Elliot wanted to hug him and never let him go, but he couldn’t. Shawn might hate him and came back to curse him out. Elliot remains at the door when Shawn raises his head and cold dark eyes stares at him. Shawn faces him, still holding the picture.

“You know, I wanted to hate you. I wanted to forget you and move on. For once I wanted to be something more to you than a sex toy…”

“Shawn…”

“Shut Stabler and listen to me!”

Elliot became quiet.

Shawn continues.

“I hated you when you couldn’t kiss me in public, just one time. The only time you show some affection for me is when I’m flirting with another guy. Yes, I did flirt with him intentionally to prove a point. You only react when it just us guys,” Shawn laughs, “You keep thinking I’ll leave you for someone younger but you never show how much you loved me. All I was too you is a nuisance. I hated you and I didn’t want to see you again!” tears came down Shawn’s cheeks.

Elliot deserves it. He treated Shawn like he never existed. He never really shows how much he cares and loves him. He wanted to keep the things between them a secret because he didn’t want the world to know he was in love with someone younger and the same sex. Elliot didn’t deserve his love or devotion. Yet, he wanted Shawn’s forgiveness.

Shawn moves closer to Elliot. Elliot thought he was going to hit him with the picture frame. Elliot was ready, but wasn’t ready for warm arms wrapping around his neck. Elliot felt his hair against his face and tears on his shoulders.

“I tried to hate you. I thought I didn’t need you and I didn’t want to play this game any longer. I wanted someone who loved me and only me. I wanted to forget you, but I couldn’t. Elliot, I love you no matter how ashamed you are of me. I should have been more patient. I should have…”

“Shawn, it’s not your fault,” Elliot interrupts him, looking into his eyes, “I should have show you how much I loved you. I should have at least told Olivia about us, but I was afraid. Afraid that people won’t see me as a man or I couldn’t…” Elliot didn’t want to tell Shawn about his longing for his old life, “I didn’t want people to think differently of me. Plus, you might not want me anymore.”

Shawn smiles.

“If I didn’t want you, I wouldn’t have been with you. All I want is you and only you as long as you have me,” he caresses his face.

Elliot smiles, trying not shed a tear.

“I always wanted you, Shawn.”

They share a brief kiss before Shawn place his head on his shoulder.

“Really,” Shawn mumbles.

“Really,” Elliot rubbing Shawn’s back. Elliot thought he would not have Shawn in his arms. He thought he would not see his lover again. He was wrong. He finally has Shawn but he also had guilt that will never go away.

Shawn release Elliot before Elliot looks at the picture. It was them at the beach. He remembers being badly burnt while Shawn had a nice time taking care of him. Elliot smiles.

“I thought you burned it,”

Shawn looks at the picture.

“I almost did but it wouldn’t help anything. I’m still hopelessly in love with you.”

Elliot puts his hand on Shawn’s shoulders and pressed his forehead on his lover.

“Me too.”

Shawn kissed him as Elliot closed the door.


End file.
